My son is now 4 months old and I am desperately trying to continue breastfeeding him. He was 9lbs 9.5oz when he was born and is now 13lbs 3 oz. At 6 weeks he weighed 10lbs 15oz but then he lost 7oz over a week and had green stools for 10 days at this time. I was told that he probably had a virus or gastroenteritis and that it was nothing to worry about, that green

stools were a common phenomenon. Breastfeeding had seemed to be going smoothly despite having had an emergency caesarean section. I didn't have any problems with sore nipples and presumed that he had a good latch. He did feed frequently and for long periods (sometimes over an hour!) but I presumed this was normal. He really didn't sleep much at all, sometimes

totalling only 7 hours in a 24 hour period. He always had loads of energy and seemed to be developing really well, he rolled over at 13 weeks and his hand/eye co-ordination was particularly good. I felt under pressure and had to often justify breastfeeding to my in-laws who (although not directly) implied that my son wasn't getting enough milk and should have a bottle of formula.

Between 10 and 14 weeks my son put on 12oz then 14oz so I felt things were improving. Then we went to visit his Grandparents and the next day had an hour long telephone conversation with them saying "I'm really worried about him, his face has gone to nothing, ask your Health Visitor about his weight, I can't sleep for worrying about him" etc.! To top it all my period arrived the next day! I was very tearful and felt incredibly stressed and tired. My Health Visitor was concerned that I was heading for depression. My son then decided that he didn't want to feed from me and went on a "nursing strike". He also started being sick whenever I did managed to get him to feed and our GP prescribed infant gaviscon and infacol. She also suggested giving him a bottle at night "to help get into a routine and pyschologically so that you can see what he's getting". I

found this very frustrating. That night my son just would not feed at all and so my husband went out and bought some formula milk. I hadn't been expressing at this point and I think this is a big lesson that I've learned from my experience. We managed to breastfeed for the next 3 days with one bottle of formula at night. It was still a struggle to breastfeed but it was improving slightly.

By the following Tuesday my son had only put on 1oz in 2 weeks and my Health Visitor said "enough is enough" as he had just dropped below the 9th centile. She advised me to "top him up" with 5oz formula after every feed for the next 48 hours. Looking back this isn't topping up but simply bottle feeding! We (my husband and myself) agreed to do this as we were very concerned about my son's weight. I was desperately unhappy doing this and sobbed every time he took formula milk from a bottle so easily (after trying to get him to breastfeed). I spoke to a lactation consultant on Monday and she advised me to start expressing as much as I can, co bath with my baby, keep up with the attempts to breastfeed and take 3 capsules of fenugreek per day to try and increase/maintain my milk supply. Things are improving ever so slightly but at the moment my son is still having 2 sometimes 3 formula feeds during the day (he breastfeeds during the night but I'm not sure that he's actually getting much...my confidence has completely gone!).

At the moment, I'm just about managing to get 6oz of expressed breastmilk in a day using a handpump. My husband has been incredibly supportive of breastfeeding and if it wasn't for him I would probably have given up weeks ago! In the meantime I will continue to persevere and hope that my son will decide he doesn't like formula after all and much prefers mummy's milk!

Good luck to anyone who is reading this and I really hope that you have good breastfeeding experiences.

Doreen